Unsolved riddle.

Life sometimes become a riddle for people.. Difficult to solve and even no clue about the answer.
Many times, I go in the depths of despair, get my heart pulled out by things and people that mean the most to me, once in a while go on little sprees just to realise that what I lack is peace, what I lack is genuine contentment, what I lack is the undying love, and all of it lies in only one place, in HIM.
I am just amazed how HE lets me go towards the little sins just to make me feel the need to come back to Him, just to realise that only HIS love is what satisfies my heart truly.

I see you with others and my heart throbs like someone clenched it in my fist and my windpipe’s collapsed but I somehow realise that my love is greater than the hurt I take. I now know that even if some person has almost all the pieces of you, has been with you for the longest, and you care deep enough not to let her get hurt, I have something for you that is unmatched. I have been in love with you for HIS sake, and this itself is a blessing that I can’t thank enough for. I realised it as I saw you, and I didn’t want to take anyone’s place , It is selfless, I just wanted you to be okay, to be there, striving on your own, fighting your desires and practising purity instead of letting satan control you for what you are or are not capable of.

I realised it as I let you go. Even though I knew that I can help you to go where you need to be, but a fear restrained me.
It may seem I’ve let go of you, but I can never let go of someone whom I love for HIS sake.
So now, here I am,
I’m not giving up on you just trying to stay out of your own life,
I’m having you in my prayers,
I’m giving you in HIS care and HE will guide you home.
(IN SHA ALLAH)

Love!

My love is pure,
Pure from every desire,
Pure from every need,
Every lust,
Even i haven’t desire of you
Or to be with you,
Because what i feel is,
You lies within me,
Within the most sensitive and sacred place of my body,
In my heart ❤
I see u there everytime,
I meet u there,
I don’t have to think about you,
You’re never out of my mind for a second,
Without any rules and restriction
Without any shame,
Without any pain,
You are always found in my soul and in my heart but yeah you’re still not in my life.
What I and others get in love?
Some get the whole sky,
Some get the whole land,
Some get the seashore,
And I, I got the depth of a big wide ocean.

And I love to drown in the ocean of your love.

” If I say you mean the world to me, but that will be nothing a short of a lie, the world is too small a thing to be compared to you. “

Don’t want!

Don’t want to disturb your life,
When you’re so busy in your life, in a peaceful and contented life,
Don’t want to force you,
For me and for my love when you have so much love around you,
Don’t want to leave you,
Because I know I couldn’t resist praying for your health and of you.
Don’t want to meet you,
That what if you will not find me as perfect as you dream for.
Don’t want to see you,
Afraid if I’ll look in your eyes and you find out how much insane I’m for you.
Don’t want to tell you,
I don’t want to let my commotion interfere your happy life.
Don’t want to show you,
That how much it hurts when I see you there with anyone else.
Don’t want to make you realise,
Yes you are having your own heart who maybe beats for someone, So I don’t want to stand between your wish and your dreams even I pray for your all wishes may come true.
Don’t want to talk you,
Because everytime we converse, I have to stop myself.

I know how much I control each second to text you or to talk you. such patience
I’m not the only barrier between us,
Its you too,
I search sometime for my space but I always found out that there’s no space for me in your life.
The rain makes me feel empty sometimes yet provide me with so much passion,
As I think, It’s because it assures me that storms and rains are always a part of everyone’s life.
You’ve to pass through them again an again with love and patience.
I think my love is a synonym of complexity,
My Lord only understands every bit of it,
It drowns me unless He helped me each time,

Don’t want to, But still I’m ..

You’re my Sky.

Yes, You’re my sky.

I don’t know when I fell in love with you like I fell in love with the sky,

Maybe You became like the sky to me,
I can look at it for hours, and Not get bored,
In its every mood, whether the storms are casted by it,
Or if the scorching sun is my fate by it,
Or if the white calm clouds cover it,
I love it just the same,
No matter what, with all my heart,
I can not count the things I love about you, just like stars can’t be counted,
And even if you do, there are millions hidden out of your vision,
Yes, I can see the flaws like I do the scars on the moon,
but does It make it any less beautiful? No.
And, just like the phases of moon, I believe you can develop.
Like the sun rises after every sunset sunset,
I hope after all the deviant sprees, you’ll always come back to me,
Guess, you’re my own sky,
So far away, yet so loved,
So far away, so unreachable.
So far away, still so close to me,
So near to me,
In me.

-Noor Fatima

Love yourself!

Many times in life, sometimes by elders, sometimes by teachers, sometimes by friends and sometimes through books or social media, I have been apprised -advised- repeatedly, that change starts from within. And every time I questioned if I could, how? How does change start from the inside? What kind of strategy does it require to emerge in one’s life? How will it configure me? How will it transform my actions? And every time, like any other, I was struck by confused stares or obfuscated answers. I came to realize that change, for everyone, is different. Different lives. Different cultures. Different needs. But humans; so different yet so similar. The need for change, or change itself can differ. But there is something that lies at the very core of it all. Without it, change cannot come. Without it, one cannot achieve self-acceptance. Without it, self-identity will continue to remain an enigma. It is love. Yes, you heard me right, love. And by love, I do not mean the love you shower on your children, the love you feel for your parents, the love you share with your husband or the love that resides in between you and your friends. We have all the love in the world to give others. But when it comes to loving the self, we’re as broke as a homeless man who begs for survival. We yearn to be loved and appreciated but when there is no one around to feed us the daily two spoon dosage. We retreat deep into the cocoon of self-worthlessness; where depression and desolation exist to snuff out hope and happiness, only to fill our hearts with pain and despair.

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Self-love is a crucial part of being a believer. When you don’t love yourself, you don’t forgive yourself. You mostly end up beating yourself up, constantly, for the things you might or might not have done. Self-hatred is a time and energy costing task. When self-love is gone, so is inner peace and tranquility. And how can you be a practicing and steadfast believer if more than half of your time is spent on cursing yourself rather than on the acts of worship? How will you be able to function properly on a daily basis when you are constantly doubtful about your worth and abilities? As I’m going through these phases so I know more better about what other feels so…
The act of self-love brings with itself self-acceptance and self-knowledge. Love requires knowledge. You cannot truly love someone until you know them. Same is for respect and acceptance. And with self-knowledge comes self-identity. So, the very first step to loving yourself is knowing you.

Self-knowledge:
Self-knowledge is not limited to just knowing a couple of facts about yourself. It is to have an authentic, honest and even-handed perception of yourself. Many of us don’t even know what makes us happy or angry or sad. When you possess this sure knowledge of things or events which might trigger a positive or negative reaction, you know what to stay close to, or away. You know when to remain in the room and when to leave. When you realize that these certain words propel me to question my self-worth, you know to refrain from such sentence and people who utter them. Self-knowledge is an integral part of loving yourself. It opens the gate to self-acceptance.
Take a pen and paper and write down all of the things you already know about yourself. Write down what or who makes you happy, sad, angry, anxious or irrational. What makes you smile? What is your favorite color? What are your hobbies? What skills do you have? Everything you can think of, write it down. Now after you have written all of it, fold it. Close it. Put it away. Don’t read it now. Read it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow with a fresh mind. Then analyze everything carefully. This exercise will prove itself beneficial in knowing yourself more. In Sha Allah.

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Self-Acceptance:
Now from self-knowledge, we’ll come down to self-acceptance. Take that list of yours and separate all of your negative and positive qualities. A lot of folks believe that acknowledging the flaws in you and being cool with it means self-acceptance. They are right but only to some degree. As a Muslim, it is necessary to hold a content and thankful behavior towards your physical appearance, no matter how far they are from the beauty standards of the fashion or film industry. There is no flaw in the creation of Allah. You are beautiful and perfect, be cool. But it is not okay to be cool with the flaws of one’s character; this is where the sensible version of self-acceptance differs with the un-sensible one. To be happy or proud of sins and actions of immorality is not self-acceptance, its ignorance. Accept your shortcomings, then work your best to eliminate them. Before reformation; comes acceptance. You cannot improve until you acknowledge the need for improvement. No one is an angel. Not you. Not me. We all slip. But the best ones are those who repent and reform. Allah is Ever-Forgiving.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ

‘…..Allah loves those who repent, and He loves those who cleanse themselves’ (Qur’an 2:222)

Self-acceptance is not just about acknowledging the negative in you but also the positive, the good. Be thankful and appreciative of your self’s positive characteristics. Don’t overlook the goodness in you. And don’t over-obsess the goodness in you, it may lead to unhealthy pride. Acknowledge the virtue, skill, and talent. And try your best every day to improve and sustain it.

Change:
One of the main things which hinder us from loving ourselves is the thought of what people think or say about me. We are greatly troubled by the opinions people hold about us. It is a major speed breaker in self-love. Or an enormous mountain in the middle of a road.

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As a Muslim, our ultimate goal is the pleasure of Allah not the pleasure of people. As long as the ride of life drives according to the compass of His will, all is well. If Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم had cared about the opinion of people, Islam wouldn’t have reached us. He is a role model for us all. And out of many, one of the most critical thing which we learn from his life events is that people don’t matter, their opinions and words don’t matter; Allah does. If you want to or ever intend to change yourself so that you are more acceptable to people or even to your family, remember this, you alone will stand in front of Allah on the day of judgment, not your family, and certainly not the people for whom you changed yourself. There is no point in changing yourself into someone else if you risk losing yourself, your Iman, your happiness and self-worth in the process. If someone is not able to accept you the way you are, walk away if you can. If you can’t, ask Allah to help you deal with them. Never let the action or sentences with subtext, ‘you don’t matter’ affect you. You matter. Maybe to them, you don’t. So what. Who cares? 😉 You matter. Just because someone failed to see your worth does not mean you are worthless.

Filter it out:
It is said, ‘tune out the carping, the criticism, and the negativity. And enjoy life for it is only granted once’. Hmmm. It may sound like a wise thing to do, but tuning out the criticism is not constructive. Why? We need to understand that we are not perfect. We make mistakes. We are humans. And many times in life we receive advice or criticism from people of various temperament, age, and wisdom. Sometimes an advice received with love and warmth when weighed logically can prove to be inefficient. Just because someone said it with tenderness doesn’t validate its prudence. They are humans. Everyone has different life experiences, set of beliefs and cultural values. Not everything that resonates with them is going to resonate with you. If someone advises you to chop off your hair because it’ll save the daily effort of combing and washing, will you? Of course, you won’t, even if it may sound logical and time-saving. Similarly, a spot-on advice sometimes may sound like sarcasm or an hour-long lecture coming out of your mother’s beautiful mouth. The way something was said should not devalue its truthfulness and wisdom. As a wise man once said,’ Do not look at who said it, how he said it when he said it but what he said’. Wisdom 101. It might hurt your heart and ears to let pour in the harsh words. But you are strong. You are wise. You can work past that hurt and harshness to finding a rose for yourself to adorn with, in between a jungle of thorns. Just ask Allah to help you and give you the strength needed to be optimistic in the face of adversities, both inner and outer. So don’t tune it out, filter it out. Weigh the words said to you. If it makes sense according to Quran, Sunnah and you, implement it in your life. If not, throw them away. Don’t dwell on it.
Self-love takes hard work, practice and time, like every other thing. It is not something you might develop overnight. But it is not an impossible thing. The man has reached the moon, but self-love, to the masses, seems even harder than that. It is not.

 

‘You are worth finding, worth knowing, worth loving. You + all your one million layers. Always hold that close.’ –quoted

 

HE and me.

The purpose of life I realise now. Times again, I go in the depths of despair, get my heart pulled out by things and people that mean the most to me, once in a while go on little sprees just to realise that what I lack is peace, what I lack is genuine contentment, what I lack is the undying love, and all of it lies in only one place, in HIM.

I am just amazed how HE lets me go towards the little sins just to make me feel the need to come back to Him, just to realise that only HIS love is what satisfies my heart truly.

HE always wanted the return of His love that He did but why I wouldn’t return even a quarter of it.Why? But I’m sure he will bring me out of my every bad habit, my sins and my all worst thoughts.

Allah! Who is the only source of peace. No one can comfort your heart and mind.

– It’s difficult to control how heart feels but it’s easy to supplicate to the controller of your heart to ease what you feel.

Yeh ishq!

Duniya ka ishq bhi duniya ki tarah fani hai,

Ye apkay andar Allah kay ishq ki jgah le leta hai,

Yani jo mohabat apko rab se karni chaiye,

Or jitni shiddat se apnay Allah ko yaad karna chaiye,

Utna zor ham duniya ki mohabat ko yad karnay mai laga dete,

Jantay huay kay Allah ki mohabat kay ilawa har mohabat ko zawal hai,

Kyun kay kya Allah jisnay apko har cheez se nawaza us say zyada koi mohabat kay laiq hai?

Nae hai.. par ham phir bhi nafs kay chakar mai ajatay,

Or kabhi socha b k kya hoga aesi mohabat ka? Socho..

Acha chalo agar ek insan se apko mohabat ho bhi gayi to usko jahanum se bachana nai chahtay kaya?
Us say door reh kar hi to usko bacha sktay ho, to phir sabar karo..

Allah par yaqeen karo ye jan kar kay Allah shahid hai apke har ek raaz ka,

Wese bhi Quran mai zikar hai Pairs are made in heaven

To bss phir akhir kaar mohabat mil to jani hai wo mohobat jo Allah 2 logon kay darmiyan khud daltay hain,

Agar Allah ki nazar mai apkay naseeb mai wo cheez achi hogi jo apnay mangi to wo naseeb badal day ga,

Duaon mai bhi bohat taqat hai..

Lekin is tarah duniyavi mohabat ki peche rona yan tarapna koi faida nae day skta,

Behtar to yeh kay khamoshi ikhtiyar karlo or peche ko ho jao, kyun k

Khamoshi ajazi hai

Bss Allah par yaqeen rakho.

– Khushki-o-tari par qadir hay asan meri mushkil kerday 
Sahil ki taraf kashti na sahi kashti ki taraf sahil kerday 

#late-nighthoughtsaboutlove

LET ME ..

Tonight, let me love you,
Show me the person you are when no one’s around,
Show me the scars you hide behind your walls,
Show me the parts of you , you hate,
Give away to me your regrets, your vicious desires,
Sail to me your fears, your insecurities,
Throw your disappoints away,
Give me the glimpse to your soul,
The things that keep you awake at night,
The secrets that make you skip a beat,
Let me see the parts you find ugliest,
So I know what to love,

So I’d know how to make you whole in your own eyes as well,
You may keep the body to yourself,
I want more than that,
Give me something you’ve never given to any lady before,
Give me your soul,
Let me unravel you in the real meaning,
Let me untangle every knot that you find difficult to,
Allow me to get lost in the labyrinth of your soul,
Do not just give me your subtle 2 p.m personality,
Allow me to have you at 4 a.m,
Let me have your vulnerabilities,

And I swear I’ll veil them with an invincible wall,
Tonight,
Let me love you,
The way you’re supposed to be loved.

Date: 16,November,2016